I don’t think the reality of what’s happening has hit me. 

Well I miss you Austin, and I’m sure your sisters and mom are too. I’m sorry I lost touch with them :l Whenever go to Cali I promise I’ll try my best to visit your grave.

Happy 15th birthday Angela. Too bad we’re not friends anymore. It’s sad that I mostly forgot about you, even though we were supposedly best friends. 

i’ve started to feel more and more like a hideous and vile creature that will never be beautiful.

I question the sanity of those who find me the least bit appealing.

am I depressed

am i anorexic

where has my happiness gone , it never wants to stay

i’m so alone

and i’m drifting from my best friends

maybe my boyfriend too

my mind doesn’t want to release all the thoughts to anyone

i need affection 

i need help

I don’t even know what to say. Have you ever had so many thoughts and emotions that you just can’t sort it out or even think straight. Because that’s how I feel right now

It’s only been about a month since i’ve seen him but it feels like a century

I went to the pier tonight to watch the fireworks. It was beautiful! I just sat by the edge of the water while I looked up at the sky. It made me kind of sad though..everyone I went I saw couples holding hands, giving each other kisses, and just being happy together. It made me miss my boyfriend so much more. And I couldn’t stop thinking about what a great place it would be to have a date with him and wishing he was there with me. If only his dad had let me come over for a week. I would have been so happy.

Oh did I mention that yesterday was my nine months with my lovely boyfriend? Well it was (:(

Boyfriend came over to see me physically for the last time until we see each other again, idk when that is. I said good bye. cried a lot. and left. so goodbye to my old city, hello new city where I am a friendless loser.

There’s a more detailed version of today but I decided to keep it private

I don’t ever want you to leave me.